School Direct: the first month

If you are reading this, you might want to be a teacher or you might be at the same point as me in your training. I've thought for some time about setting up a trainee teacher blog and I'm doing it because when I chose to apply to train, everything I read was negative. Everything anybody told me was negative. Teaching in the UK:  education is broken, OFSTED care only about the data, your management will not care about you, you will burn out, the workload is ridiculous, you will never see your own kids, etc. You will read all of this as I did. Some of it is true, I can't lie but I'm starting this blog because it hasn't all been like that.

Context

I was studying through the Open university while I raised my first son. We had lost a child to a rare genetic disease, which significantly changed who I was. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I started teaching beginners piano and singing while raising Theo and we ticked along. Theo is a high flyer and quite academically orientated and it was reading with him and teaching him maths and reading that started me thinking. I'd wanted to be a teacher when I left school, secondary languages or music I'd thought, but somewhere along the line, I'd changed my mind. I tried children's nursing but the sights I saw and dealing with Ellie and her short life, it really wasn't for me. Too much pain. By 2015, I had quite a few students and then got pregnant with son no. 2, Euan. I had PTSD (pregnancy related) during the pregnancy and quite severe health anxiety but after his birth, it all settled. I knew there would be no more children and started to look forward.

Euan had horrible silent reflux and it was a nightmare when trying to teach so I stopped teaching private music lessons but did a lot of volunteer work in Theo's school, which I loved. I started with choirs and drama groups, moved on to volunteer TA work and a governor role and then, alongside my distance learning degree, took up a distance learning TA qualification (I like a challenge). I crammed a year's worth of work into four months and passed, by which time, I had already secured a TA job for the September in year 6. I struggled with guilt, having stayed with Theo for the majority of his birth-5 period, as Euan was only 18 months, but much more clingy and harder work than Theo. As it happened, the time with his childminder did him the world of good and for my part, my heath anxiety massively went into remission after a battle of several years, including some very difficult periods.

That year taught me so much about schools. It was a year full of highs and lows and it was only a month and a half into the job when I received three PGCE offers: one SCITT, one School Direct and one part-time uni based course. I accepted the School Direct, as it suited me best. The interview processes were incredibly different but the SD one sat well with me and for our partnership, it meant being tied to one school for the year, other than a seven week stint in a contrasting school and key stage. It was a long wait from acceptance to starting and I wasn't the best fit for the school I was in. However, despite all the hard times, I have many good memories from my time there and some friends I carried forward. I feel it has made a huge difference to the start of my teacher training and resilience in a positive way. It took me a long time to build up my confidence and so, moving school and starting again has been very difficult but much easier to cope with this time than it was first starting out in a school.

Fast forward and here we are, a month and a half in! And here begins the SD part of my life.

Selecting the right course

If you are considering teaching, you may or may not know there are so many different routes and more on the way. My uni are talking of an apprenticeship next year, which sounds promising. However, here are some of the routes I looked at:

University based: this is the most traditional and the first month or so is spent learning about pedagogy and curriculum/learning styles, etc. Having worked in a school for a year, I didn't feel this was the route for me but lots of people like block sessions in uni. Also, you don't know where your placements will be and they may include a lengthy travel. Still, many people have had great experiences with this route.

Teach First: this one is pretty extreme. I know two people who successfully got through this course, but both came from a teaching background. It focusses on getting high flyers with good degrees and putting them in schools in deprived areas with only a 5 week summer school course as pre-training. They then get given their own class. I think it has quite a high drop out rate, higher than other routes and I kind of see why. I would have felt like I was failing my students by not knowing what I was doing. Again, you can set a preference for a certain area but they reserve the right to send you to any area of the country.

SCITT (school centred initial teacher training): I was accepted to one of these. SCITTs vary but are quite popular. The one I applied to, they are accredited by a local university and students have to attend a few days at uni. The rest of the training is provided by the SCITT provider and the one I was offered had three placements. It had several partner schools so you know the general area but not where you are going until nearer the time. This particular SCITT has an outstanding reputation and a very good OFSTED report but it just wasn't the fit for me.

School Direct: this can be salaried or unsalaried. Mine is unsalaried and I am funded by Student Finance/SLC. The partnership I accepted just felt right....I always believe you just know when things fit for you. I knew from June where my host school would be and found out with a month's notice my contrasting placement. There are eight schools in the partnership and the furthest is half an hour away so I knew commuting wouldn't be hard but they have been really considerate geographically anyway. My host school is 10 minutes away and my first assessed placement is 20 minutes away. This course can vary, no SD programme is the same, it is very much dependant on what each partnership wants and needs and based on local demographics, local specialist training etc.

The people

The lead school mentor is such an important part of SD. I can't speak highly enough of A, our LSM, he just really has his finger on the pulse and keeps us rounded up and on track. School mentors are also key players (see below in school based training). Then your cohort: there are 7 of us together this year but we get most of our school based CPD with another local partnership so it is increasingly feeling like 14. Whatsapp has truly been our friend, and that support system is such a necessary part of day to day life. You just pull each other through the hard times and celebrate the good times together. The staff in my school really lift me as well. There are two SD graduates in my school who went through my partnership and they have been so helpful and also, one of our NQTs, G, has been great and its definitely a friendship I'd like to cultivate further when I return. I already feel like I've made some friends for life and that is one of the highlights of this course.

School based training

My PGCE began with two and a half weeks SBT before we had to attend university. My named mentor, C, has a wealth of experience in training student teachers and when I met her in June, I knew I had made the right choice. She is very warm and nurturing, the perfect balance of supportive and letting you take your time whilst at the same time, giving the push you need when you need it. I'm not based in class with C but in the other year 6 class with E. At first, I wasn't keen on being with someone other than my named mentor, I'm cautious of a lot of things since Ellie and the anxiety days, and this was one of those situations. Now, I'm glad. That's an understatement actually. E is everything I ever could have hoped for in a mentor, she is very real and down to earth and the confidence she has given me, I can't even really say. The school as a whole is so welcoming (it has a great reputation) and I've never been made to feel like 'the student'. Its just not like that. No school is perfect but as far as training schools go, this school is what I need right now.

That said, despite all the right ingredients, the beginning of my SBT hasn't been smooth. The class I am in are challenging in the best possible sense. They are energetic and endearing and I am going to miss them in the seven weeks I am gone. But, as with anything, things sometimes go wrong. For one week, I was predominantly with a supply teacher: the upside is that I was pushed to teach more and it has done me the world of good. Yes, I have cried (twice in fact but once was following some bad news) but I am learning not to be so hard on myself. Even truly established teachers have rough days, their lessons go wrong and they feel like crap. So let yourself feel it, think about what you would do differently and move on. When similar situations have happened subsequently, I have then found myself better equipped to deal with it. Things will go wrong, you will cry in the toilets and that is OK but use it to your advantage. Background circumstances make things hard too. For me, this has been the administrative side of the university. I have not been alone in this but not getting your money on time, having to enroll three times, having your university email address deleted because you apparently haven't enrolled when you have, it gets frustrating and can impact on your day. It's nobody's fault, technology is usually the problem but you can feel like you are going round in circles. Ask for help. It all got sorted for me when I got the programme leader from the uni involved.

I've been hugely out of my comfort zone but I have grown a lot in a short space of time. It took me about three weeks to realise this isn't all on my shoulders and I have to trust C and E A LOT! And so, now I do and it has worked out. The biggest thing I was frightened of was the planning and I still think 'I'll never be able to plan amazing lessons and long term plans' but actually, its not so bad! You don't need to plan from scratch until AP2 (assessed placement 2) but when I spoke to the lead school mentor, my maths lessons lean more towards that and I didn't even realise. It has served me well but I don't think I could do it for many other lessons at this point. Baby steps.

I was lucky enough to go on a residential trip in week 4, which was a big challenge and I loved it. I really missed my boys but seeing the children push themselves and spurring them on was fab. I even surprised myself at what I was willing to try in order to encourage the kids on! If you get this chance, take it!

Overall, the highs massively outweigh the lows. For me, getting the harder to reach children to connect with me has been quite moving at times. I've been told by one student's mum that she talks to her mum about me. That's a great feeling. I also used a maths approach that I picked up at a maths training course and it was really successful, the kids were so engaged and one child told E he really loved the lessons I had used it it. Moments like that carry you through.

Above all, prepare to be tired! All the stories I read about never having time to read to your own kids or do anything fun though, that hasn't been my experience. I mark my books through lunch or before I leave and help E with hers where possible. Granted, I'm not at that 80% timetable yet but you have to make it happen and you need to be organised. It doesn't always happen but I feel like not much has changed....you just make it work. The most important thing to remember is to communicate. If you are struggling, ask for help. It's not a failure.

I'm preparing for AP1, which will see me move from year 6 to year 2, massively out of my comfort zone. I'm looking forward to it though. Its just another mountain I want to climb and a new experience. Again, its exactly the kind of school you would want to be in (the whole partnership is great by all accounts) and our lead school mentor is brilliant at preparing us and keeping us on track. We laugh about a graph he showed us in June (we call it the graph of disillusionment) that shows the general trend of a student teacher's resilience across the year. We are approaching the disillusionment dip but so far, we are pulling each other through and there are no casualties yet! The thought of being assessed properly is daunting, I can't deny. Watch this space on that front.

University based training

I thought this bit would be the bane of my life. Turns out, it is really interesting and makes you question a lot. I surprise myself with the questions I ask and contributions I make and I take a lot from it. Also, you come to treasure the time with your cohort and peers, and the coffee shop on site! Sometimes you think 'why am I doing this?' when it comes to questions and the realities surrounding assessment and the curriculum and the politics of education can be depressing. However, from what I have seen, there are ways to teach children to love learning and inject creativity into the national curriculum. Maybe I'm too idealistic but my host school seem to do a good job.

The assignment part is scary. I'm used to academic writing and getting really high marks. Time will tell with this. I will write more about this next time as this process is just starting for me really.

CPD

The school provide a lot of training too and I usually find these heavy and full of info but extremely useful and enjoyable. Again, it is time to be with your peers!

Class/workload/Maintaining any sort of life

Yes the workload is big and increasing daily. Is it hard? Yes. Is it manageable? Also yes. Use your time well. My school is family friendly and C repeatedly reminds me about protecting family time, as do friends who were teachers. Last night, my husband had booked for us to go for a meal and I didn't really want to go because I was so tired but sometimes, it is better to just do it. I really enjoyed it and it was what I needed. Same goes for friends. Sometimes, you need to just binge on that boxset. You can't always do what you want and I have had to suspend my own music lessons for this year and decided to just play for fun. I just can't commit that time to the practise.
When it comes to the kids in your class, learn their names quickly. C was strict about this and she is so right. It makes a hell of a difference in how you interact. Names are so powerful. I had mine down within the hour! Try not to be overly friendly, you need them to know you are in charge but my class like to hear about my boys and my interests and its great to share that. I won't profess to be amazing at behaviour management. I'm learning. Its hard. This is C's area of expertise, or one of them, so I'm lucky but doing it yourself is difficult. It really comes from those relationships you build. Its progressing slowly and thats a step in the right direction.

So, to round up my first month and a half, its been a rollercoaster but all in all, a really positive experience. It's just about to ramp up but I'm feeling ready, for the most part (let's say 80%). For now, I am glad I decided to go for it. I'll update this section in a few weeks and we'll see where I am at then!