Welcome back to the diary of a tired and procrastinating Schools Direct student. If you think I am writing this post to avoid starting my assignment, well then, you would be correct! However, the first (and longest) half term is done. 8 weeks past already!
Has it been as bad as people said? No. It is a rollercoaster but it definitely has not all been horrendous. Many nights I haven't even done work. Don't get me wrong, the teaching work load is increasing in terms of planning but since the first assignment is due in soon and will be my work focus in half term, it's not really going to impact massively on AP1 (assessed placement 1).
Last time, I touched on the assignment approaching. Having seen some examples, it's not so daunting but time consuming, due to reading and planning. I've done some level of reading too so that part is reduced. Our first assignment is a two component essay. The first part is a 1500 word case report on data from one of our schools and the second part is a 3000 word essay on assessment so actually, given all the issues surrounding assessment, it shouldn't be hard to write.
What I have found to be my challenge is the transition into AP1. Having just done an observation week, I found it really difficult for a few reasons. I need to say firstly, the school is lovely, the kids in my class are a delight, and my mentor is so eager to help and be supportive so there are no issues there at all. It is the lead school in the partnership so the heart of this particular SD program. The downsides, however; I miss year 6/KS2. The year 2s are very cute and my senior mentor, C, at the host school taught me well. I knew all 29 names in one hour. It's just such a transition from the top of primary down to year 2 and a completely different skill set. That said, the behaviour management side hasn't been as hard because they are (seriously) little darlings. Year 2 seems to be that real transition from concrete and visual methods in maths to formal, such as going from numicon/partitioning/number lines, etc to formal methods like column addition and subtraction. It's bridging the gap between being little and moving into KS2. In year 6, you just take it for granted a bit that column addition/subtraction is 'the' thing. Also, phonics is new to me and its all been a lot to take in.
It's also a shock to the system when you've been ramping up your teaching and taking the lead a bit and then you end up back at the start, re-learning names, routines, taking small intervention groups and acting as a TA. TA work is great, its more the 'I really do not know what I'm supposed to be doing' kind of thing, when you are new to a school and you haven't found your feet. My new mentor, E2, is lovely but I hate to keep asking and bothering and I feel unsettled, like I don't know where I stand. I know, if I did something wrong, E1 from my host school would just say and I think because I get on with her really well, its made the transition harder. I'm 'school-sick'. Despite the year 6 class sometimes having my life, I miss them. I left my host school on a real high and it was almost as if I dropped off the cliff. Maybe its a good thing for my resilience. Well, not maybe, I know it is despite not being overly keen. I've felt my anxiety through the roof this week - it could subconsciously be stress but I'm awaiting a (non-urgent) medical appointment and I always get a bit of white coat syndrome anyway so I think that may have blighted the week for me a bit.
The bright side; after half term, my first two weeks consist only of 3 days in school. The first week, I have my Open Uni graduation on the Thursday and a study day on Friday. The following week has CPD and a uni day. Then after that follows 4 weeks of 4 days (1 CPD/uni day each week). I feel a bit guilty counting down, as I know E2 really wants to help and its nothing to do with the placement. I'm not determined to dislike it and I think maybe things will look better after half-term when I've had a rest, spent some time with the boys and am back into teaching. I'm going to give it my all and just do the best I can and maybe I'll change and think KS1 is for me. Maybe I am KS2 through and through. I'll find out either way. It's going to get a bit full on so its nice to have two cohort members in the school with me too.
So, first, half term, assignment, time with the boys, and a few days off. But after that, AP1: let's be having you!
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